Today’s Motherhood

Question:

I would like to know how to ensure my girl, who is 16mths old, listens to me when I read books to her ?

Answer:

A 16 mth old child has a very short attention span. So a better way to bring their attention to a stand is to use pictures books. Toddlers relate better to colours and pictures. And get your little gal to look at the picture while you narrate the story. Sit close to her so that as you narrate the story near her ears, she can grasp the info while her eyes browse through the details of the picture.

And as time goes by, you can slowly switch to books that has smaller pictures but more words. Let that be gradual and not too sudden. You will be surprised how your little one can relate to the pictures while you tell the story. How I miss the time I used to that to my little girls :)

Here are some nice picture books I have used when my daughters were toddlers. They worked great for me. Hope they work for you too!

Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae

Fireman Small y Wong Herbert Yee

The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Don Wood

Daisy Comes Home by Jan Brett

Happy Reading with your little one!

Question:

How do I patiently tell my daughter when she does something wrong ?  Is it okay to scold a toddler?

Answer:

I think “scold” itself is rather a harsh word. A better word will be to “discipline” children. An ego eccentric toddler will not be able to understand even if you were to reprimand her. When you’re disciplining your child, make sure your son or daughter knows that you’re trying to get them to discontinue negative behavior, and that you aren’t devaluing them.

Even though toddlers are young, they are more in touch with their feelings than adults can tell. Just because your daughter can’t project her feelings all that well yet, they do know when they feel attacked, and are likely to continue venting out if your approach is is not appeasing to them.

Try not to use negative words when disciplining your girl. For example, when your daughter leaves her toys all over the place and is reaching out for the ball now to play with, do not say ” No! No ball!” “Clean up the toys!”. She will feel agitated!

Instead try using words like : Shall we clean up the toys first? And we can play with the ball together?” Making toddlers listen to you might require you to monkey around a little so do be a little patient on that.

A little time-out on and off might help but not too long. A one and a half minute time out should be sufficient. Try to give time outs only when really necessary. Too much might make the child feel isolated!

Do you have question for our experts? If you have, please go to our Ask The Experts section for parenting help.

It was a Sunday afternoon. I told the kids that we are going for a Korean styled photo shoot and they will be dressed up as prince and princess. My daughter, being a girl, was excited about it while my son was nonchalant.

Our appointment was fixed at 3pm (supposedly one of the good time to catch the natural sunlight), which is the focus and the tactic use by BabyU Studio - The First Korean Concept Photo Studio in Singapore. I was keeping my fingers crossed and hope that the children will “co-operate” as 3pm was supposed to be their nap time. I certainly do not want the kids to look grumpy and tired.

When we reached the studio, Brad and the photographer gave us a really warm welcome.  The photography session did not start immediately.  Brad made friends with the Ashton and Ashlyn. He talked to them, showed them toys and gave them sweets to get them comfortable with him.

I guessed being a father of 2 young kids made him extremely good at handling children. It didn’t take too long before the children were totally at ease with him.

He chose 2 sets of clothes each for Ashton and Ashlyn from wardrobe filled with costumes of all 4 seasons. I fell in love with the range of beautiful costumes imported from USA and Australia. Impressive!

Brad chose a set of winter costume in white for Ashton and asked if he wanted to celebrate Christmas and play in the snow. He agreed spontaneously. As for Ashlyn, he chose a blue toga dress for her.

The photography session started after the kids were all changed and prepared. What surprised me was most was that the photography session do not feel like a photography session for the kids. It was more like play time to them. They were not even aware that pictures were being taken. There will be a photographer playing with them while another hide at a corner to capture the most candid yet beautiful angle of the child.

Ashton truly enjoyed himself playing with Brad. As for Ashlyn, being very “sticky” to me, she began to cry when I left her to stand at a distance to watch. Brad and Ashton (brother) managed to make her smile with Brad carrying Ashton and pretending to be superman flying to her. :)

Brad was all sweaty after the whole photography session with the 2 little ones. We waited for about 20 minutes before being able to see all the pictures taken. I was worried that Ashlyn might not look pretty in the photos because she has being crying and her eyes might look watery. Brad assured me that if they could not catch good shots of the child, the child can come back for a re-shoot without paying extra. Phew! What a relief!

Surprising, Ashlyn looked just as nice when we get to see the photos. We had a hard time choosing the photos and then the photo frames because they all looked so great.

At the end of the session, my husband was impressed not only with the photographers but also the services provided by BabyU. He was grumbling about the inconvenient location initially (well, it was pretty far for us as the location was at the extreme east while we stay in the west), he ended up being a happy customer and bought more than the initial budget that he had set. He was both happy with the photographs and the way the team of photographers handled the children to make it a great time for them. :)

What I like about BabyU?

The service of the Korean Photographers are superb.  They really live up to their name as an authentic Korean style photography studio as their photoframes and albums are especially imported from Korea. All chosen photographs will be sent to Korea for touch up and develop.  The turnaround time is fast and we are able to collect the photos within a week.

The color combination is fantastic and they have already know the matching colours of the background and the costumes to bring out the most vibrant images.

The cleanliness of the clothings is something I like too.  The costumes worn by the kids are washed after every photoshoot.  Parents can be assured that the costumes that the children wear during the photoshoot session are fresh and clean ones.

What can be improved?

The studio, being unconditioned on that day, was a little hot at times especially for Ashton who posed in “winter”. Good thing is that the photographers were very swift and they managed to get the shoots done up even before the children feel it.

As an overall, the whole family has got a awesome experience at BabyU.

Special Deals from BabyU Studio For Today’s Motherhood Readers: Simply sign up our free mailing list and get your voucher from our great deals page.

Find out more about BabyU International Photo Studio - The First Korean Concept Photo Studio in Singapore.

True Motherhood Stories

One day, I was having this little conversation with my kids about school stuff and a lot more while fixing their school bags. I was busy getting rid of those crumpled papers from my son’s bags which were stealthily inserted in his notebooks and pockets and even within his pencil case.

I was talking with sermons like “You should never waste papers and write unnecessary things on them”, You should throw your garbage every time you come home and keep your bags clean”, “You should not let your leftovers stay in your school bags overnight”. All these and more I kept saying while the two children stayed quiet, doing things as instructed and sitting still while I talked. Nashee, my youngest would look into my eyes and hold the look back every time I start a new concept to talk about.

Mothers really have hard time controlling their emotions and ceasing whenever they have started to open their mouths. Like me, the little issue on crumpled papers inside their bags reached the issues on world poverty, impoverished children, unemployment, the country’s president to their playmate in the neighborhood who doesn’t have decent clothes like them, their father who left us, and many more. Shan was talking back once in a while but I see to it that I would shut her up for some reasons of authority and pride.

I once paused for breath when my eldest kid asked, “Ma, why do you know all these things?” I sighed for what I thought was an easy question and answered, “Because I am your mother and I am old enough to have gone through it all. As people grow, they experience things and as they live, they learn from their experiences aside from what they learn from school.”

My daughter nodded her head and went back to her chore. My son stood up and asked, “Ma, what is that cat’s gender?” while pointing to the white cat passing through the neighbor’s fence. I paused and thought for a moment. I realized that I don’t know the answer to my son’s question. But I tried to grasp for one good reply as I said, “Maybe a male or a female?” and then he said, “It’s a lesbian.” Confidently, he turned to his sister and added, “She’s not yet very old.”

We all looked at each other and laughed.

Children are so innocent aren’t they? Do you have interesting motherhood stories to share? Write to us at mailbox@todaysmotherhood.com and get your story posted on Today’s Motherhood.

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Easy children’s drawing contest for your kids. They can draw, color or paint their best picture, then submit it to Today’s Motherhood online children’s drawing contest.

They stand to win free kids Art Trial Class from Hans Art.

Drawing Contest Details
Submit your child’s most creative drawing and have their art pieces proudly displayed at Today’s Motherhood website.

The winning drawing for the month will be featured in Today’s Motherhood Magazine together with your child’s photo and also a free kids art trial class in Hans Art.

Closing Date of submission : 31 Oct 2009.

For details on how to submit and contest Rules and Regulations, please go to Kids Drawing Contest.

Below are the entries of our Nov Children Drawing Contest

1. Kuan Jian Jing, Jessica, 4 years old
2. Wang Jia Jie, 7 years old
3. Glenda Geri Tan Min, 8 years old
4. Melissa Mak, 7 years old

1. Kuan Jian Jing, Jessica

I love my family by Kuan Jian Jing, Jessica

>Back to Nov Kids Drawing Contest Entries

>Back to Top

2. Wang Jia Jie

Happy Deepavali by Wang Jia Jie

>Back to Nov Kids Drawing Contest Entries

>Back to Top

3. Glenda Geri Tan Min

Forest of the Day by Glenda Geri Tan Min

>Back to Nov Kids Drawing Contest Entries

>Back to Top

4. Melissa Mak

I Like Fruits by Melissa Mak

>Back to Nov Kids Drawing Contest Entries

>Back to Top

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My boy loves Taoshu and is a great fan. I am glad that Taoshu and Friends has come up with a new series of Mandarin DVDs, which teaches about chinese traditions, customs and practices. I am a culprit of not knowing the chinese customs not very well. I learn alot too as I watch the Chinese DVDs with my kids. Taoshu and his sister Ling Ling (an interesting pair of siblings) brings the kids through the journey of discovery of Chinese value and beliefs with songs, fun and laughter while they learn.

The chinese cartoon DVD comes in 5 series, one of my children’s  favorite is one on Traditional Festival.  It is a very comprehensive one which teaches about Chinese New Year, Mid Autumn Festival and Dragon Boat Festival.  The children get to learn about the traditions for the festival.  For instance, why do we eat mooncakes during mid-autumn festival and how to make a moon cake. After watching Traditional Festival, the kids have been wanting to eat mooncakes even more.

At the end of the day, the Taoshu series has not only enrich our knowledge of Chinese tradition.  It has also enhance our Chinese Language ability especially those of my children.

There are other title which cover the rich chinese traditions which are worth exploring with your kids.

The chinese DVDs are suitable for children 4 years old and above.  It is running at 70 minutes per DVD, which I personally think that it is a long one.  However, it is break into short stories whereby the kids can choose the episode that they want to catch rather than completing it in a go.

The retail price of the DVD is S$12.90 per copy and you can easily get it from major departmental store and bookshops.

Are you a fan of Taoshu Chinese DVDs?  Do you like the characters?  What are other chinese cartoons that your kids like?  We would like to hear from you. Simply leave us a comment.

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Bryan, was born in year 1997, the year when Hong Kong was handed back to Mainland China. It was a special year for Amilin and her family.

It can never be better. She is expecting to be promoted to a regional position and her own parents and her in-laws have also agreed to share the responsibilities of taking care of Bryan, so that Amilin is able to return to work with a peace of mind

“Cancer in children and teenagers is rare, making up only 1% of all cancer cases in Singapore. About 90 to 100 new cases of childhood cancers are detected in children less than 15 years old here each year. Remarkable progress has been made in curing infants, children, teenagers, and young adults with cancer. With advancements in technology, drug therapy and treatment methods, some childhood cancers such as acute leukemia, lymphoma, kidney cancer and germ cell cancer have an 80% cure rate.”

The most common type of cancer seen in children is Leukemia, which accounts for 35% of all childhood cancers seen. In Singapore, we have also seen children suffer from:

*Data extracted from KK children hospital website, dated 20 July 2009

When Bryan was 6 years old, he was supposed to be at the age when he should be causing Amilin a lot of headache and physical fatigue due to a child’s exploration phase in life. However, Amilin physical fatigue was due to the constant trips to the clinics. Bryan is constantly down with fever and his constant loss of appetite, unlike many of his peers in the same age group. Until 6 months later, when Bryan started limping when Amilin called out to him.

“I thought that as a young by, he is up to mischief again, hurting himself. But never did I imagine the outcome of his medical report. Cancer was the last thing on my mind.” Amilin said.

When their family physician was consulted and Amilin told the doctor of Bryan’s symptoms, of constant suffering from fatigue, feeling of poor appetite, fever that is always coming on and off and the frequent bruising spotted on his body. Now his suspected “mischief” had caused him to start limping. Amilin was at her wits end. Little does she know that what she has just explain to her pediatrician are all the symptoms of Leukemia.

“The world has collapsed on me.” Said Amilin, who was tearing even today when she recalled the incident. Bryan was immediately to be advised to be admitted to hospital to seek a second opinion.

Critical Planning for Critical Illness

Many parents like Amilin, is simply clueless about planning for catastrophe as in the case of Bryan. To off-set such medical cost, a simple concept will be like having a 4 piece Jigsaw puzzle to form a complete coverage.

Insurance is very much like a Parachute. We do not want to use it, however, when we need it, it have to be there, if not, there is no point at all. Most parents should have sufficient Medisave and Shield Plans. However, it is prudent that parents be able to purchase a simple and affordable plan that cover their children’s critical illness and hospitalization.

Breakdown of estimated bill size for 90% of patients that stayed in the following hospital:

*Data extracted from MOH website, dated 20 Oct 2006

Health insurance should be taken up as top priority, as children tend to be admitted to hospital often simply because they are accidents prone. Another reason is the suffering from major illnesses, such as the case of Bryan. Because of critical illnesses, parents sometimes are made to give up their full time job to concentrate on their children’s health, directly impacting on the disposable income of their household. With a critical illness cover, they are able to supplement their income or pay for some of the hospital bills incurred during the treatment process.

With more of the jigsaw puzzle quadrants being covered, the less financial risk is being exposed.

Types of Medical Insurances

Shield Plan
Shield plans come with Co-insurance and Deductibles; a cost sharing element built-in. An average of $1000 - $3000 to be paid for by you as Annual Deductibles. The remaining bill will shared among your insurer and you, also known as, Co-insurance.

Parents can start their shield plan for their child as young as age zero, using their medisave to purchase the plan. Some insurer are also offering free child coverage once both parents shield plan are with them.

Corporate/ Private Health Insurance
For those who would like to transfer your financial risk to insurers, may want to get your private hospitalization plan on top on your Shield plan. Many insurers have also been offering “as charged” option, giving insured a peace of mind. “As charged” option allows you to transfer the risk of paying for the hospital medical procedures to the respective insurers.

Except for Room & Board limits, majority of the medical procedures will be made payable 100%. With only an Annual and Lifetime limits controlling the amount made payable to the insured. A simplified ways of insuring, without the headaches of not knowing which items will be paid by the insurers.

Critical Illness
Some planners advocate the ideas of not purchasing a whole life plan for children and should be concentrating on investing for their education funds. However, just like why all high rise building are built with a lightning conductors on their rooftop. They do not wish to be strike by lightning, but rather to minimize or reduce the potential financial damage to the building to continue the daily functions of the building. Same goes for critical illness planning. We do not want it to happen, and we cannot predict when it is going to happen. Why take the chance?

Parents may just want to start off with a simple plan with a minimal cover of at least $50,000, which can be as affordable as just $50 per month.

Some of the life plans offered by insurers are specifically tailored just for young children, covering specific illness such as Kawasaki Diseases, Leukemia, Insulin Dependent Diabetics Mellitus (IDDM), Bone Marrow Transplant and others on top of the regular critical illnesses. They can also have the advantage of owning their life policies with a starting age of 0, which has a lower premium for the same amount of coverage; unlike many of us who only started our life policies when we are have started working which is captured at a much older age. Of course, if nothing happens, then you as parents have already started to accumulating wealth for them.

The Lucky One

Although, Amilin did not purchase a critical illness plan for Bryan yet, they have already started a shield plan and an additional hospital plan for Bryan. Bills amounting close to about $27,000, all of which is paid for through medisave and their “as charged” private plan.

Although, she have to adjust to a new lifestyle as most her saving is used up when she was not working. She is now no longer, but rather a full time stay home mum. Both herself and husband have to make sacrifices of selling away their car. Dining out is a luxury. No more lavish spending. Renovation of their house and their plan of having a second child also have to be delayed.

They have to build up their savings all over again. They could have avoided the financial loss, with a critical illness cover .

“Although I may have to work part-time now to take care of my little Bryan, at least financially we are lucky enough, to prevent another financial catastrophe on top of Bryan’s incident. At least we just lost our savings, not the roof over our head. For that I’m blessed.” Amilin said with a sigh.

Bryan has now recovered; back to a child of his age, as bubbly as he can be.

A Weekend of Mid-Autumn..come with your family and friends…relax and enjoy !

What a great way to spend a Saturday evening !

SSO and SCO @ Kranji, Singapore Racecourse
Free Admission and Free Parking

(concert subject to prevailing weather conditions)

Serenade your senses under the moonlight to the delightful tunes performed by the Singapore Chinese Orchestra and Singapore Symphony Orchestra :

Pre-Performance for the whole Family
Mid-Autumn Festival contest, Free Balloon Scultpures for children (whilst stocks last)

FREE ADMISSION

Venue : Kranji, Singapore Racecourse

Date : Saturday, October 3, 2009

Time : 7.00pm

a community project by the Singapore Turf Club

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